The green eyed monster

The investigation into ‘CadburyGate’ is now complete.

I have to say, I have never experienced anything so surreal in my entire life – in fact, I’m starting to think that I’ve been living in the twilight zone for the last fortnight and those little green men are going to whisk me off into the ether to care for sick aliens…more like little green-eyed monsters wearing a nurses uniform are going to find other ways of sticking the knife in. 

You may remember a gorgeous patient that we had on the ward called Helen. All she wanted before she died was to experience one last Christmas. So, with a lot of help from various people around the hospital and her daughter, we brought Christmas forward for her.

Not a day too soon either, because later that night she died.

Anyway, Helen’s daughter was so touched by what we had arranged for her Mum, that she’d gifted the ward with a huge (and I mean huge) chocolate hamper and a thank you card that mentioned me by name. The next thing I know, I’m getting a formal letter inviting me to a preliminary investigation meeting into ‘giving patients special treatment in order to purloin gifts’.

I won’t lie – my vivid imagination ran away with itself. I envisioned myself wearing a different type of uniform – one covered in arrows- and slopping out my own pee bucket while being supervised by a rotund warden called Brenda. Then I imagined myself standing center stage at an NMC hearing and being struck off the register; naturally, the next thought was watching myself bumming about my little house in my pyjamas while the postman piled a thousand brown envelopes through the letterbox.

Matt is usually so measured in his thinking, so I knew how serious it was when he went all silent and his face was like thunder. He was livid that someone could report me for making the end of a patient’s life special. After much stomping about the house, he calmed right down and got back to being sensible and reliable Matt. He advised me to call the RCN and explain the situation to them.

Well, what a lovely lady I spoke to. It was almost as though she had been through the very same situation, as she was so empathetic and calming – she reminded me so much of my consultant friend from Recruitment Panda! Which made me feel guilty that I hadn’t been in touch with her for a good while – I’d promised we would catch up over a nice hot chocolate and brownie, I can be such a crap friend at times.

The lovely RCN lady arranged an appointment for me with my local rep and assured me that she wouldn’t be visiting me in prison! That made me laugh and I got off the phone feeling a whole lot lighter. Steve was really apologetic when he said he wasn’t able to discuss any elements of the investigation with me. He too had been called to give a statement and therefore couldn’t support me. It was just me and my rep.

Jo was the first one in and I bet she just loved telling them all about how I’d manipulated my way into the family’s affections so that she could eat the vast majority of the chocolate hamper. No doubt, she was alluding to my secret affair with Steve and me almost overdosing a patient on paracetamol too. She returned to the ward having done her worst and I could just tell by the smirk on her face that she had tried to stitch me up. 

My rep didn’t come in with me as it was only an investigation meeting at this point. I felt sick with worry when I entered the room, but I needn’t have been so bothered. They assured me that the point of the meeting was to establish the facts to see if the policy had been breached.

So I told them the truth, and I’m sure there were a few wet eyes in the room when I told them Helen’s story.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, once they’d spoken to everyone concerned and considered a statement from Helen’s daughter (who was highly offended that her gift on behalf of Helen had caused so much trouble), they said there was no case to answer. The facts were the facts, and the fiction the product of a very jealous nurse!! 

Steve asked to see me in the office afterwards and I thought I was in for a roasting for being the cause of so much trouble. Instead, he told me that I would be assigned a mentor for the next 6 months and that I should have been assigned one when I started. I was gutted and felt that it was reflective of my poor performance but Steve assured me that it was the exact opposite.

Firstly, he apologised for not giving me the support of a mentor in the first place and then he told me that I had the makings of a cracking nurse (he may not have used quite those words, but that’s what he meant!). He said that I needed help to focus on my development and my mentor would be able to support me to do that. Then he told me that one of my Band 6 colleagues was retiring and that there would soon be an opening for a promotion if I wanted to prepare for the opportunity. 

I was speechless (almost impossible to imagine, I know). With the right support and my own determination, I could become a Band 6 – the same as Jo. She would be seething.

And then it came to me – what if I got her as my mentor? Surely that couldn’t happen – if it did I’d be slopping out buckets quicker than I could say ‘Brenda’.

Steve must have read my mind as he asked me how I felt about being mentored by Carla. More than happy with that, I replied so Steve said he would arrange it.

This is starting to look like my year!! I’ve got a dream job and an even dreamier boyfriend – all I need now is that promotion and my life (for now) will be complete!! 

Remembering my earlier promise, I didn’t pick the phone up to Matt as I usually would, instead I dropped my friend at Recruitment Panda a text and asked if she wanted to meet for a catch-up. Within seconds, I had a lovely text back that was like being hugged by a giant mug of Horlicks – she’s so genuinely warm and kind.

Of course, she would love to meet up and hear all my news...can’t wait!!